she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
they're like a gay fantastic four
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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