I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
