I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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