Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
