i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
