Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
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Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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