Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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