You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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