i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize