wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
