There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
