I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
