Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
