just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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