i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
