just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
