The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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