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She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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