i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
