So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
