I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
