Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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