She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
