real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
