If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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