I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
