so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
