I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
