Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
