I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
