this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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