You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
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Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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