I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
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Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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