I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
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Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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