:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
