i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
