shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
