i just had sex bonerless
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
