I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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