am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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