im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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