Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
