After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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