So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
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