I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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