I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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