Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
