So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
