i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
