dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
