Sry I called you an 8
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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