If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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