I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
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I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
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I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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