Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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