am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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